


Felweed

by valathe



Category: World of Warcraft
Genre: Crack, F/F, Jaina Needs a Nap, and eats all the herbs, she high af, sylvanas specced into herbalism, with predictable results
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-09
Updated: 2019-07-09
Packaged: 2020-06-25 11:56:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19745254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/valathe/pseuds/valathe
Summary: Lor'themar convinced Sylvanas that she should spec into Herbalism, that it was a low-stress hobby she and Jaina could enjoy together. Things don't go as planned.





	Felweed

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Use Sachets With Care](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18557710) by [useless_lesbean](https://archiveofourown.org/users/useless_lesbean/pseuds/useless_lesbean). 



> we need more stoned sylvanas. i give you more stoned sylvanas.  
> song of the day is [feel good hit of the summer](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bAXPUN2z2CE) by queens of the stone age

Lor’themar flinched when the front door to his office was thrown open.

“Where is he?!” he heard someone shout, and had to suppress a sigh. It was only fifteen minutes until server downtime, and he’d been looking forward to some R&R. “Where is the pompous one-eyed fuck?”

He recognized that voice all too well, and knew he didn’t want to be anywhere near it. He hoped his secretary would be able to stall long enough for him to make a speedy escape, but he’d barely got the window open when Jaina Proudmoore stormed in; eyes alight with a righteous fury.

“Oh, hey, Jaina, how nice to see you.” he quickly said, frozen on the spot with one foot resting on the windowsill. “I was just, um, doing some yoga, and-oh dear, it looks like rain today, I better go and make sure all the windows are closed at home, I’ll see you later!”

Jaina’s scowl had only grown more severe the longer he talked, and he could see the source of her anger behind her.

“Preddy statue!” Sylvanas drawled, slinking off to one corner of the foyer to coo at the slab of marble.

“Now, I know how this looks-“ he began, but was swiftly interrupted by the mage.

“ _Just let her spec into Herbalism, Jaina; it will be fine, Jaina_.” she spat, quickly glancing over her shoulder to make sure her girlfriend wasn’t getting into any more trouble while her back was turned. After making sure nothing was amiss, she heavily fell into the seat standing in front of Lor’themar’s desk, dragging both hands down her face.

“I’m holding you one hundred per cent responsible for this, just so you know.” she mumbled, but it seemed like he was out of any immediate danger.

Only now did he dare to slowly take his foot off the windowsill, gently massaging the beginnings of a cramp out of his thigh.

“What, um, what did she take?” he asked, still rooted to the spot. He knew he was still in very hot waters.

“Felweed.” was Jaina’s tired reply, but anything she would have added on was interrupted by a loud crash and a very harried-looking secretary.

“Sir, um, your guest…”

Jaina jumped out of her seat and walked out into the foyer, where one statue lay shattered on the floor while Sylvanas had approached another and was currently…

“Nice boobies, heh.” she giggled, shoving her face into the statue’s cleavage with an audible _thunk_.

Jaina only walked over to the elf and dragged her away by the hood of her cloak. “Stop motorboating your sister, dear.” she sighed.

Sylvanas physically recoiled from the statue, bumping into Jaina who had to steady the elf with her arms.

“Dun like my dumb sis’er” Sylvanas mumbled while turning around, groping her own breasts. “My tiddies are much nicer than hers, look!” she exclaimed, puffing out her chest into Jaina’s face. “They’re _soff_ and _nice_ and not hard and cold like _hers_!”

Jaina heard a snort coming from behind her, and without even looking snapped her fingers to encase Lor’themar in an ice block.

“It’s okay, dear, I believe you.” she murmured, taking one of Sylvanas’ hands. “Let’s get out of here and hope this wears off during server maintenance." Turning around one last time she smirked at Lor’themar’s secretary.

“If he’s lucky, the ice block will, too.”

**Author's Note:**

> why am i like this? ;_;


End file.
